After two months of captivity, one finds oneself allowing crazy thoughts to trample the mind. Since they are kind of scary, I’ll send you these tamer ones instead.
• I read that 4,153,237 people got married last year. Not to cause trouble, but shouldn’t that be an even number?
• You know that tingly feeling you get when you fall in love? That’s your common sense leaving your body.
• Did you know that dolphins are so smart that within a few weeks of captivity, they can train people to stand on the very edge of the pool and throw fish to them?
• My therapist says I have a preoccupation with vengeance. We’ll see about that.
• I think my neighbor is stalking me as she has been Googling my name on her computer. I saw it through my binoculars last night.
• They say money talks … but all mine ever says is goodbye.
• My 60-year kindergarten reunion is coming up soon and I’m worried about the 100 pounds I’ve gained since then.
• The pharmacist asked me my birth date again today. I’m pretty sure she’s going to get me something.
• Money can’t buy happiness, but it keeps the kids in touch.
So there, you have it. But this and a quarter won’t even get you a doughnut so I’m not sure why you have read this far into the column, though I do appreciate that you did, if you did. When one can’t go anywhere, very little happens. Wait, something did happen.
My daughter-in-law Rachel, the one with too many best friends because she is so awesome, had a COVID-19 birthday. Since she couldn’t have a party, one of her friends got all the other friends (and family members) to do little videos wishing Rachel a happy birthday and she would put them into a large video. Well, what a hoot the hubby and I had making our video. We wrote a poem and tried to read it without walking out of the scene laughing. It took many tries before we looked semi-professional. Or, you know, not totally foolish. But watching the finished product on her birthday left tears running down my cheeks as I watched person after person wishing our sweet Rachel a great day.
Somewhere in the middle was the video my granddaughter Cecelia made, where she got both her brothers to sing “Happy Birthday” with her. Yeah, even Henry. He was so darn cute doing it. Then Celia introduced him as a monster and told him to growl for the camera. Instead, he reached up and slapped the camera right out of her hands, and after a good spin, it faded to black.
Jodie, Derek and their adult kids who are all stuck home during this confinement did a “Full House” re-enactment complete with the show’s theme song “Everywhere You Look” as they all crowded onto the couch together to eat popcorn out of the same bowl.
The video ended with my grandsons Grayson and Griffin talking, which really melted my heart.
I knew the back story on that so I could really appreciate it actually happening. Jeremy had needed to make the video but Rachel was always home. Then one day she ran to the store and Jeremy knew he had 15 minutes to work with and didn’t the shy 3-year-old give him a hard time. “I don’t want to say that” he kept telling his father. The clock was ticking and with mere minutes to go my son managed to cajole a “Happy birthday Mommy, I love you” out of Griffin.
It was worth the wait.