Quite often when I get to church, the parking lot is full so I park on the street. The church across the street has the same problem so I try to get there early enough to call dibs. This particular day I parked at the edge of the sign that said No Parking, with an arrow indicating the entrance to the other church’s parking lot.

As I was getting out of my car, an older woman pulled in behind me, right in front of the driveway. Now, I could have minded my own business but I didn’t want her getting a ticket so I opened my pie hole.

“I’m pretty sure you can’t park here,” I told her through her open window.

“Yes, I can. I park here every week.”

“Well that sign says you aren’t supposed to and I wouldn’t want you to get a ticket.”

“That sign is for Harborfest,” she said as she got out of her car and started walking away.

“Well, no it isn’t” I said as graciously as I could — being as I was heading into church. But truth be known, inside I was starting to get rubbed raw. I knew I was right and I was trying to be helpful and she was being obtuse.

“But you’re blocking the driveway…”

“It’s okay. I park here every week,” and off she went into her church.

And suddenly I found myself hoping she would get a ticket, because I was right.

I’m also an eagle eye. Differences pop out at me much like that stupid clown inside a jack-in-the-box. Money on the ground, numbers out of order, a mole that wasn’t there before — are glaringly obvious to me. I don’t know why, it’s just how I’m wired. And I am tightly wired.

So, last week I was at a gathering and a young woman came in to show off this beautiful wall hanging she had made as a gift to be hung in her church. But I spied with my little eye that one of the eight inch blocks was turned the wrong way, throwing off the fact that everything should be radiating outward. I tried to say something but words wouldn’t come because I didn’t know this woman or her temperament enough to know if she would appreciate being told. And besides, it was already quilted.

But I wrestled with myself until I finally couldn’t take it anymore and walked over to a relative of this young woman and told her about it. This relative tried to get me go tell her, saying she’d want to know but I dug in my heels and told her she’d have to do it. Which she attempted to do but the young woman didn’t want to hear it and left in a huff. (For once I actually listened to my inner voice and it paid off.)

The very next day someone posted a picture of a quilt top they had just sewn and son of a gun, one of her blocks was turned the wrong way, too. Why do I have this super power??? This time I said something because I was safely behind a keyboard but I’m worried I’m going to get banned from places because of this annoying ability.

The thing is — I don’t point these mistakes out to be superior, because trust me I don’t feel that way. Even with this ability (or perhaps disability) I have managed to make similar mistakes, too late in the game to fix and wish someone had caught it. I’m just trying to be helpful.

But there are times when pointing things out is like shooting myself in the foot, and if you get stinky with me it will be the last time I help, even if your dress is tucked into your underwear.

Actually I would have to say something, because that shouldn’t happen to anybody.

(0) comments

Welcome to the discussion.

Keep it Clean. Please avoid obscene, vulgar, lewd, racist or sexually-oriented language.
PLEASE TURN OFF YOUR CAPS LOCK.
Don't Threaten. Threats of harming another person will not be tolerated.
Be Truthful. Don't knowingly lie about anyone or anything.
Be Nice. No racism, sexism or any sort of -ism that is degrading to another person.
Be Proactive. Use the 'Report' link on each comment to let us know of abusive posts.
Share with Us. We'd love to hear eyewitness accounts, the history behind an article.